From Bondage to Freedom
By Molly W. Blancke, MPA
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
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There are many things we naturally fear in life—losing someone we love, being diagnosed with a terminal illness, being hurt in an accident, disasters, divorce, or even dying. To not be aware of the reality of these possibilities is to live in denial. These are healthy fears and can cause us to react in ways to save our marriage, take care of ourselves, or protect our loved ones or property. Healthy fears can literally save our lives.
More prevalent and damaging, however, is the type of fear that holds us in bondage. Unhealthy fears keep us from living a full and normal life. They include:
fear of failure as shown in a refusal to try anything new
unreasonable fear of the loss of a loved one resulting in attempts to control that person’s every behavior, demanding accountabilities for every hour spent apart
fear of financial ruin, causing us to hoard our money and possessions, not giving to those in need or even to those we love
fear of emotional pain, leading to alcohol or drug abuse in an effort to ‘numb’ the hurt
fear of people who are different than ourselves, leading to prejudice and even hatred in an effort to maintain feelings of superiority over them
extreme fear of numerous bad outcomes or disasters that “might happen”, leading to the inability to enjoy life in the present
With today’s COVID numbers, political arguments, and ‘doom and gloom’ news stories blasting constantly from the media, it is easy to understand how a normal, healthy fear can evolve into one that keeps us in constant bondage, resulting in nagging mental ruminations and emotional paralysis. In order to ‘not go there’, we must ask ourselves what is at the HEART of all the constant anxieties, the REAL FEAR behind it all—whether it is the fear of being alone, fear of losing control, or even fear of not being loved. Because we tend to react to fear subconsciously, taking the time to honestly analyze our fear can be a first step to breaking its power in our lives.
Next, take an action to better manage the fear. Maybe it means adhering to a healthier diet or setting up date nights with your spouse. It may mean consciously replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, or it may mean seeking counseling to help deal with controlling anxieties that we can’t get rid of on our own.
The word ‘fear’ is included over 900 times in the Bible, more often in the command, “Fear not”. Obviously, our generation is not the first to be consumed with fears. However, none of our fears seem as powerful when viewed in light of God’s promise in Romans 8:38-39 that “nothing…in creation, present or future, can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord”.
Trusting God’s promise to never leave us and choosing to live our lives with total trust in Him is the ultimate answer to fear, albeit difficult to practice. LCC counselors are here to help you put unhealthy fear in perspective and get closer to this goal. Please visit our website at: www.lccny.org for more information. For a counseling appointment, call LCC at 1-800-317-1173. All sessions are virtual.
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Molly W. Blancke, MPA, BSW, BA, has been the Executive Director of Lutheran Counseling Center (LCC) in New York since 2006. A native South Carolinian, before coming to New York, Molly demonstrated leadership skills as the Social Services Director for a large nursing home complex for eight years and previously, as a social worker advocate with mentally challenged children and their families, encouraging and fostering independence in their communities. Molly is also an accomplished church organist and pianist and has worked in the past for several churches in music director positions.
